Renewal and Responsibility

“Feather Light” clay monotype with chine collé by Adair Heitmann on view in juried exhibition

My art was recently selected by juror, James Barron, into the Spectrum Contemporary Art Exhibition at the Carriage Barn Arts Center in New Canaan, CT. The theme of the show is “Renewal,” apt and timely. I’m proud to be in the exhibition. Being accepted helps me keep going, keep creating, and keep creatively experimenting.

I’ve also been submitting to art and writing residencies around the US. I’ve wanted to be accepted into one for decades! I applied to one 30 years ago, got rejected, felt defeated, and never re-applied. Now I have the courage (and time) to keep pursuing applications to a variety of venues and locations. I’ve applied now to four, and have been rejected, so far by three. Still awaiting news on the fourth.

Over the years my mind set has changed from lasting despair if I don’t get accepted to viewing my submitting process as Rejection Accomplishments. It’s my responsibility to myself, as an artist and a writer, and someone who really wants the collaborative and focused work environment of a residency, to keep applying. I learn something new each time I apply to a different residency.

My Excel spreadsheet of possibilities, deadlines, and websites is lengthy, I have more creative opportunities then I have time and space to submit to. It’s a good problem to have!

Creativity and wellness message for today: After feeling the loss of rejection, consider patting yourself on the back and acknowledging “Job well done, now on to the next!”

Press On

Decades ago I longed to be a member of the Connecticut Press Club. Life and work responsibilities got in the way of me applying for membership plus I didn’t feel good enough. Over the years I worked in marketing and communications, health and wellness, academia, and I wrote, I taught, I created, exhibited, and sold my fine artwork. I started a family and helped raise a wonderful child. I created and co-authored a writers’ blog for a local library. My blog posts offered encouragement, followed my own process of starting a writer’s website, how to build an author’s platform online, and how to feel joy in the act of creativity.

I followed my own advice and as best I could kept my professional online presence current. The membership application didn’t come up on my radar often as I led a popular bi-weekly creative writing group for six years and had my poems and non-fiction essays published in journals, anthologies, and books.

Last year, I was a storyteller for the international visual storytelling experience PechaKucha Night Bridgeport, and this year I am a contributing author in a commercially published book. Still, I didn’t feel I was worthy of submitting for membership in the Connecticut Press Club.

Last month, however, I thought I had enough under my belt as a writer to apply for membership, I did. The organization was reworking its online application form so I contacted the organization directly about how I might apply. To my delight, I heard back that the organization read my bio on my website and I “was all set.” I’m happy to report this story has a happy ending.

Creativity and wellness message for today: Just keep doing what your heart calls you to do.

Opening Space for New Creative Projects

Linda’s Sun at Dusk by (c) Adair Heitmann 2022

Today I’m clearing out old paper and digital files to make room for exciting original literary and artistic endeavors to come. I’ve recently been following Ingrid Fetell Lee and her “Aesthetics of Joy.” If you don’t know of her work I highly recommend checking out her TED talk and following her on social media.

She gave a suggestion in her recent blog about not saving so many good ideas. What? I’ve been putting notions and quotes in file folders for years. When I had a bright idea or if someone inspired me but I didn’t have a chance in the moment to act on it, I’d store it away for a later day. Or, I’ve taken to heart the writing adage “Always jot down your ideas when they come so you can use them later.” Well, uummmm, I’ve been doing this for decades and quite frankly I’ve run out of space. Ingrid suggests acting on them in the present, hence my writing this blog today.

Just now I found a really good quote hidden in a folder I’d been holding onto for 12 years. I kept it because it profoundly touched me. I pondered, “What can I do with it right now?” Then, an idea dropped into my consciousness. Yesterday, I took an in-the-moment, unedited photograph of a split second end-of-the-day visual with sunlight streaming through stained glass then reflecting in a mirror. What I witnessed stopped me in my tracks with its poetic beauty. Today I knew these two seemingly disparate things needed to be married.

A lifetime is not what is between
the moments of birth and death.

A lifetime is one moment
Between my two little breaths.
The present, the here, the now,
That’s all the life I get.
I live each moment in full,
In kindness, in peace, without regret.
– Chade Meng, Taoist poet

Currently, I’m keeping my own journals from the past, but not my collection of other peoples’ writings. What other people have said, their words have soothed me, healed me, and ignited me. I’m grateful for them. I’ve incorporated their insights into who I am now. I’m releasing the rest to make room for the new.

Creativity and wellness message for today: Hold onto the wisdom but let go of the bulk.

Animals: To the Rescue!

(c) Adair Heitmann 2022

In 2019 I had a nighttime dream in which whales metaphorically foretold a health crisis that I would survive in 2021. Their wisdom helped me weather a very trying and scary time because I knew to trust their guidance. I’ve been connecting to spirit animals in my dreams and in waking life all my life. They’ve never steered me wrong.

Last year I was so sick and the medical treatments so severe that I had to take a medical leave of absence from work. Due to the severity of the treatment’s side effects, I had about 5.5 non-consecutive hours a month (that’s right — 5.5 hours per month, non-consecutive) when I had functioning brain cells and a modicum of energy. I called it my “one week a month when I came up for air,” for about an hour each day for a period of about one week.

During my long stretches of down time, when I could focus, I had a lot of time to think. When I thought about what I wanted to do when I came up for air, once a month, I thought “Do more of what makes me happy.” When I thought about this I pondered . . . writing makes me happy.

Serendipity played a hand one day, while I had brain cells I was randomly scrolling though LinkedIn, and along came a call for writers from Sacred Stories Media about its upcoming book by world-renowned author, teacher, shamanic practitioner, and licensed psychotherapist, Dr. Steven Farmer, ANIMALS: Personal Tales of Encounters with Spirit Animals. The publishing company’s call was “Have You Had a Mystical Experience with Spirit?” Well, yes, I have.

The Common Sentience book series is a first-of-its-kind series that brings to the fore and celebrates mystical experiences we have. Every book is anchored by a Featured Author (Dr. Steven Farmer for the ANIMALS book) who is a eminent thought leader on the book’s topic. These teachers share both their personal stories and deep knowledge in chapters throughout the book, along with selected contributing authors. Sacred Stories Media asked people to share their true, compelling personal stories of a direct interaction with a Spirit Animal. The story that immediately bubbled up from deep within me was an experience I had with gray whales in 1988 and how they helped me overcome fear on the Pacific Ocean outside of Tofino, on Vancouver Island in British Columbia.

Over the next weeks, whenever I had a few brain cells available I jotted down my memories of that profound experience. Over time my briefly drafted word sketches grew into the whole true story. During my few hours each month in which I had energy and brain power I stitched all the pieces together and I felt happy writing it. The deadline loomed. I knew I had gotten the story as good as I could. I submitted it to the publishing company for consideration and went back to sleep.

Needless to say, when I learned my story was accepted I was delighted! I am now counting down to the book launch date of January 11, 2022.

Part of the back cover states: “Experience how these spiritual allies can guard, aid, heal, and guide you in the most unexpected and delightful ways.” I’m proud that out of the 35 selected sacred storytellers that my story is one of the highlighted six on the back cover! You can find my story on page 133, “Overcoming Fear With Help From the Whales.”

Best U.S. Book Links to Use:
ANIMALS is available worldwide. If you live outside the U.S. please look up the book on your favorite retailer site.
A shortened Amazon link is – https://bit.ly/cs_animals
A shortened Barnes and Noble link is – https://bit.ly/cs_animals_bn

Creativity and wellness message for today: Allow yourself to to guided by the intelligence of animals and the power of nature.

Lightness of Spirit

Feather-stars by (c) Adair Wilson Heitmann

My thoughts today alight on feathers: Feather symbolism has different meanings depending on who you ask. For me, they represent hope, alignment with Spirit, divine protection, poetic inspiration, and profound yet light mystical connections. They also come into my life unexpectedly and offer me insight and strength to try something new. The feather comes as a sign and teaches me to creatively trust what is in the immediate moment.

Others have said:
“In a result oriented culture like ours, it is easy to get hung up on endings, on figuring things out and finding precise solutions. But a true fascination continues building with each new piece of information, making new connections, revealing new patterns and opening new perceptions. The exploration of natural miracles is a fundamentally open ended and curiosity driven enterprise. It reminds us that science is not always about the answer, it is about the questions.”
– Thor Hanson, Feathers: The Evolution of a Natural Miracle

“If feathers don’t ruffle, nothing flies.”
–  Jessica Raine

.“The soul, light as a feather, fluid as water, innocent as a child, responds to every movement of grace like a floating balloon.”
– Jean-Pierre De Caussade

“Style is the feather in the arrow, not the feather in the cap.”
– George Sampson

Creativity and wellness message for today: Acknowledge unexpected gifts from nature that may float into your awareness.

Understanding Stillness

Happy New Year everyone. I hope you enjoy a year enriched by beauty and wonder. I continue on my year-long healing journey and in order to recuperate I need to be quiet and rest. I am finding these times of solace and solitude restorative. There’s a wonderful book our son gave me for Christmas, Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May. It beautifully describes the process of tuning inward in order to heal. I recommend it!

And then there is Mary Oliver . . . just when I think I have read all her poems out of the blue a member of my church (who doesn’t know me) sends me one I haven’t read before and it nails it.

The Lily by Mary Oliver

Night after night
darkness
enters the face
of the lily
which, lightly,
closes its five walls
around itself,
and its purse
of honey,
and its fragrance,
and is content
to stand there
in the garden,
not quite sleeping,
and, maybe,
saying in lily language
some small words
we can’t hear
even when there is no wind
anywhere,
its lips
are so secret,
its tongue
is so hidden –
or, maybe,
it says nothing at all
but just stands there
with the patience
of vegetables
and saints
until the whole earth has turned around
and the silver moon
becomes the golden sun –
as the lily absolutely knew it would,
which is itself, isn’t it,
the perfect prayer?

Creativity and wellness message for today: Be open to the gifts of the day no matter how quietly they come in.

Artists – Use What You Have

(c) Adair Heitmann 2020

Recently I’ve been dealing with a major health crisis that requires my full-time attention,  managing severe side effects of treatments, and being fundamentally exhausted every day of every month. To deal with this major life upheaval I fully embrace my introvert self and go very internal, diving deep into rest and reflection. I nap when I am not having treatments or managing side effects. I come up for air briefly for a short period of time once a month right before my next treatment. I thought I could work at my fulltime job while undergoing aggressive treatments but I’ve learned the side effects are so strong, unpredictable, and completely flatten me that I’ve had to take a medical leave from work to focus solely on my health.

Eight years ago in January 2012 I wrote an essay for the Fairfield Writer’s Blog “Writers – Use What You Have” about the power of creativity and the value of not reinventing the wheel. You can read the blog here and view the book I mention in it Haikus of Nature, Family, and Art by Adair Wilson Heitmann at The Sketchbook Project — Brooklyn Art Library here.

Enter September 2020 and the Fairfield County Arts Association Virtual Art Show Call for Artists. I received the information awhile back but was too sick and exhausted to even consider submitting. Then weeks later I opened an email reminder and since I was in my brief moment up top I wondered “why not?” Even though I pushed myself to submit to the exhibition I used my own advice to use what I had and submitted a recent fine art unedited photograph that was readily available. Now seeing it in the virtual art show, I’m glad I did!

Creativity & wellness message for today: trust your own best advice and then follow it.

From Inspiration to Intermission

My last post was about inspiration, today’s post is about intermission. Thank you to the Seattle Theatre Group for the inspiration!

Even in the pandemic I’m busy working (I am grateful for my job that is considered essential), caring for our family (with a college son at home finishing his senior year remotely), and supporting my sweetheart (taking care of his aging father remotely). Life is full and yet blessed. We have each other, a home we enjoy with views of a tidal creek, friends we adore, neighbors we love getting to know even in the land of physical distancing, extended family strewn all across the country, and a new grandniece on the way!

Viewing what we are experiencing right now through the filter of intermission . . . pause . . . the curtain will rise again, and the show will go on, brings me comfort and acceptance.

Creativity and wellness message for today: What one word is offering you comfort and acceptance?

 

Pink Teacups and a Chamois Cleaning Cloth

(c) Adair W. Heitmann

I’m still settling into our new home, still unpacking, creating new spaces, and using old things in new ways.

It continues to be a time of tripping down memory lane and being grateful for the past as well as the present and staying wondrous about how the future may unfold.

Today I celebrate my dear friend and chosen “godmother by love” Kazue Mizumura. I knew Kazue by her Japanese nickname “Baye” which means “baby,” as she was the youngest in her family.

We met when I was fresh out of art school, making my own way in the world as a single woman and professional artist. We shared creativity and independence and feminism and bonded immediately! Over the decades I spent many a dinner over long, deep, heavily-accented conversations filled with raucous laughter at her tiny pink house on the water.

She was an author, illustrator, and jeweler, an artisan par excellence. She gave me copies of her books and she bought some of my artwork. I commissioned her to make jewelry for boyfriends of the time. We supported each other, mostly emotionally. When I was with her, I never felt edited, only loved. We delighted in each other’s company.

She died several years ago. Many years after that, ten years after her death, her partner in life asked me to help her “clean out Baye’s studio.” RU hadn’t set foot in it since Baye died. Over the course of the arduous process RU kept asking me to take something to remember Baye by. I was there to help loved ones not to take anything so I continued to brush off the kind offer. Finally after weeks of helping out I chose to take home some of Baye’s sumi ink painting and calligraphy brushes. They were used and precious to me. Baye held them in her hands as she worked her magic. RU didn’t think that was enough! To me it was. RU insisted I take more. I then chose Baye’s set of pink porcelain tea cups . . . personal and priceless, and one other thing.

Today, getting ready to go celebrate a friend’s birthday I open a drawer to get the old, soft, supple, and previously-used silver polishing cloth I always keep in my bureau to polish my earrings. No one would ever know it was Baye’s. The holes in it were caused by her usage not mine. To me the chamois is a cherished object and of great value.

Being blessed with Baye’s friendship, love, and devotion and experiencing tangible connections to her daily, I never thought to Google her until this morning. Unexpectedly, I found a mother lode. I didn’t know one of her books was read on Sesame Street nor that she had illustrated a book by May Sarton. To me she was “Baye” my chosen godmother by love.

Creativity and wellness message for today: Be open to accepting love and finding your own riches.